The Top 10 Christmas lessons learned:

10. Your dog assumes the huge ham the deliveryman put on the porch was sent to him.

9. The local farm store has plenty of great gift possibilities for your wife — just not the ones you chose.

8. Christmas Eve is an excellent time for either a late fall-calver or and early spring-calver to need some assistance.

7. You can get away with falling asleep during the grandkids’ Christmas program, but not with snoring.

6. The car that made a u-turn in your barnyard and pulled up to the house may be full of carolers — and not desperado robbers — so a warning shot over their heads may not be appropriate.

5. Your joke about “vegan” being the Indian term for “poor hunter” gets a laugh from neither your daughter nor her anemic-looking new boyfriend.

4. When you open the inevitable pair of gloves you don’t mention that you now have a right-hand to replace the one you lost from last year’s gift.

3. Every time you hear, “White Christmas,” you silently add, “but not too white.”

2. You can’t help but notice none of the pretty farm scene Christmas cards you receive even remotely resemble your place.

1. Holiday or not, there’s still hay to haul, ice to chop, cubes to spread and an extra scoop of grain to give your saddle horse for his Christmas present.