10. The way he’s driving you’d swear he’s been drinking but he’s just checking the crops.
9. If it’s a flatbed, you’ll see a roll of barb wire, a busted sack of cubes, various cans, grease gun, motor oil, upside-down mud boots and a dog of dubious genetic heritage.
8. If you manage to pass him, in your rear-view mirror there’ll be an imprint of the south end of the neighbor’s mongrel bull.
7. There’s that tell-tale dent from backing up to the gooseneck with the tailgate up.
6. His truck is caked with mud even though it hasn’t rained in weeks.
5. One cracked tail-light lens, which happens to be the exact same height as the tractor three-point.
4. There’s a scrape down the side he’d just as soon not talk about.
3. He’s turning in to the farm store, implement dealership, sale barn or, if it’s hot, maybe the Dairy Queen.
2. He knows where all the potholes are so, if you’re on your toes, you can miss them, too.
1. Watch for sudden stops — you may end up with a bale spear through your radiator.