10. If you really are what you eat, this guy is a glazed nut roast.
9. Between the leather couch and the wool rugs, the poor guy can’t decide whether to sit or stand.
8. He feels the overfed dog snoring on the couch is exploited.
7. He digs through the trash so he can read the ingredients on the pumpkin pie filling can.
6. Amazingly enough, the vegan and the cattleman have found a small patch of common ground — no turkey.
5. He hands out “tofurkey” recipe cards to everyone—mmmm!
4. While most people at the table argue about tariffs and immigration, he’s ranting about the injustice of pardoning only one turkey.
3. He refuses to watch the football game — something about “pigskin.”
2. While everyone else is nodding off after dinner, he is making annoying celery crunching noises.
1. Turns out, the only thing he can nibble on is the centerpiece.