10. Wrenches lie rusting in the grass 20 yards from where he was working on the planter.

9. His horse thinks his name is “counterfeit club-footed sack-a-catfood!”

8. Barb wire adorns the pickup grill from the last time he “sorted” out the neighbor’s bull.

7. The implement dealership salesman gives him a competitor’s business card.

6. Loan officers head for the break room when he pulls up out front.

5. He knows two things about cell phones—they don’t bounce and insurance has its limitations.

4. His dog doesn’t like him.

3. His wife keeps soft items near his recliner because he throws stuff at the television during the 10 o’clock weather.

2. He pulled a muscle trying to murder a possum in the feed room.

1. At the working chute, he can string together about 42 words that cannot be found in the dictionary.

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