10. A skeleton cow of undetermined heritage gimps into the sale ring and the ring man immediately looks at you.
9. You take your wife to an Extension meeting with a free noon meal for your anniversary.
8. Farm equipment sales people do rock-paper-scissors to see who has to deal with you.
7. Three used nail buckets in the barn hold bent nails, really bent nails, and maybe-I-can-use-them-for-something nails.
6. Your wife hides things from you because she’s afraid you’ll sell them on Craig’s List.
5. Your dog prefers to eat at the neighbor’s place.
4. Somebody is always stopping by to ask about your antique farm equipment collection.
3. You bargain with your lender, telling them you’ve found a bank in Ethiopia whose rate is .0002% less.
2. You farm so close to the road that you have to swerve while planting to miss the county maintainer.
1. The only clothing items you own that are less than five years old have a seed company logo on them.