10. Seventeen pigs, 13 exhibitors and a ring man who’s more interested in flirting with the secretary.

9. Easily the best reining pattern but I’m pretty sure the rider has to remain mounted ‘til the end.

8. I’m going to pretend I didn’t see the “Bob’s Bakery” sticker on that pie tin.

7. Pretty sure you have to deduct for texting during showmanship.

6. Heckuva fitting job — lamb feels like he died last week but he looks like a million bucks.

5. Looks like the University of Arkansas mascot but you have to admire his jumping ability.

4. Just like my judging team coach taught me — pick the goat that looks least like a goat.

3. Man, I swear I thought they said ‘shoats’ not ‘goats.’

2. Okay, I have to fill in for the no-show rabbit judge — guess I’ll just judge ‘em like little steers with long ears.

1. They can mail me my check ‘cause I’m gonna slap this steer on the rump and head for my truck before things get ugly.

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