10. Second floor window replacement due to the inattentive backing of a grain auger.

9. A new mailbox because, well heck, that new planter really is quite a bit wider than the old one.

8. Siding repair due to the rotary mower locating the crescent wrench you lost last week.

7. Deck repair necessitated by a wood-chewing gelding turned out in the yard to eat some of that grass that’s just going to waste.

6. Extensive landscape work because the kids’ show pigs apparently have a palate primed for petunias.

5. Gutter downspout replacement compliments of fence-jumping cow with an itch.

4. Porch railing repairs even though that horse had never, ever, ever pulled back before.

3. A little touch-up paint and putty for the front door after the blue heeler and an armadillo reenacted the Ali-Frazier fight on the front steps.

2. Carpet replacement required by the fact that motor oil doesn’t come out easily and carpet is far more economical than a divorce.

1. Assorted cleanup and repair after an escaped bull finds he doesn’t like the looks of the bull staring back at him in the sliding glass patio door. £

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