10. Judge rules culling 12-year old cow constitutes age discrimination; Rancher fined

9. Solar flare incapacitates farm machinery; Old-timers brought out of retirement

8. Neighboring farmers launch drone war

7. GOP, Dems disagree on everything except pay raise

6. PBR forced to use mechanical bulls; hundreds of clowns out of work

5. Trump negotiates hotels-for-soybeans trade deal

4. Animal rights activist attempts to liberate bull from pasture; In fair condition after horn removal

3. EPA SWAT team descends on farmer putting gravel in mud puddle

2. Oil prices soar for absolutely no reason whatsoever

1. Russia hacks futures market; Corn limit-up, limit down, limit-up, limit-down... £

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