10. So you fired a shotgun over their heads — they could’ve been terrorists instead of people collecting for the United Way.
9. The neighbor lady’s prized little Foo Foo gives birth to a litter of what might be called Poo-Heelers or Blue-Oodles.
8. You’re so used to stopping to watch a vehicle drive by that you never get a thing done.
7. Pig roasts are okay but processing from the tree in the front yard upsets some folks.
6. Can you believe they have an ordinance against hot-wiring your yard for bucket calves?
5. Mounting giant catfish heads and old boots on fence posts is not greeted with the same enthusiasm in town as it is in the country.
4. The neighborhood kids avoid you and your stories about milking 10 cows, chopping wood and carrying water before school.
3. Heck, the front lawn seemed like the ideal place to park your for-sale rusting equipment.
2. Being a Good Samaritan and squirting the neighbor’s ugly bush with Escort is not rewarded.
1. They may say they’re pro-organic but dump a load of fresh manure on the lawn and see what happens.