10. Front yard decision time: Burn it or bale it.

9. Prune and shape buck brush hedge.

8. Triple benefit from poultry litter application: perks up yard, prevents guest wearing out their welcome and distracts from feedlot lagoon odor.

7. A bouquet for the wife: daisy fleabane, creeping jenny, creeping Charlie and the whole darn creeping family.

6. Keep shotgun (armadillos) and pitchfork (moles) handy.

5. Move ol’ Catfood’s stake and tether regularly for more even lawn clipping.

4. Remember: One man’s piece of junk machinery is another man’s lawn ornament.

3. Apply organic fish emulsion (catfish entrails) to multiflora roses.

2. Improve organic fertilizer distribution by adding more dogs.

1. Glyphosate the whole darn mess and go for that moonscape look.

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