10. Armadillo blight: possums on the half-shell rooting up your pasture.
9. Neighboritis: the guy to the south is staging a survival contest — musk thistle vs. johnsongrass.
8. Toobigosity: did you or did you not spray that field?
7. Pool Table Syndrome: ah heck, what’s another 20 cows?
6. Christmas Treeitis: cedars so thick you couldn’t herd cats through ‘em.
5. Sericea Explosion: so, it turns out Chinese lespedeza seed isn’t the same as Korean lespedeza seed.
4. Seed Bank Deposits: apparently, there was a reason the guy you bought the property from kept it mowed during negotiations.
3. Good Intentions: a little fertilizer plus a poor grass stand equals county fair prize-winning ragweeds.
2. Flora Gone Mustang: you hate to spray the fencerow because you’re not really positive there’s still a fence in there.
1. Hayfeeder Pestilence: Mother Nature abhors nudity — she’s going to cover up with something.