10.  The classic “bull stuck in a hay ring.”

10. Mixing up the herbicides for your herbicide-tolerant soybeans — yeah, the field right by the road.

10. You’d swear he’s been drinking but he’s probably just checking the crops.

10. Being over-run with rodents because they have rights even if they don’t pay rent.

10. He misses the niece’s recital because of feeding hay rather than baling it.

10. The preacher has to explain to the farmer that, no, it’s not exactly like forward contracting.

10. The two-track path across the pasture is now a four-lane.

10. He’s 20 years younger so his place is never coming up for sale.

10. Wildlife: You may not have time to deer hunt but you could assemble a skeleton from the pieces your dog has dragged into the front yard.

10. Recall notice: Semen you used a few months back was actually from an easy-calving Corriente bull.

10. A three-year old will repeat “Dad’s words” during those moments when all goes quiet in a public place.

10. Some call it inefficient reproduction, you call it year-round cash flow.

10. Depending on their age, they are absolutely fascinated, or totally grossed out, by the dead possum in the yard.

10. So you fired a shotgun over their heads — they could’ve been terrorists instead of people collecting for the United Way.

10. Discuss reward for whomever gets the neighbor’s Jersey X Mexican fighting bull out of the heifer pasture (dead or alive?).

10. They navigate roads containing everything from riding lawn mowers and renegade 4-wheelers to impenetrable cattle drives and impassable combines.

10. Your neighbor took one look at him and immediately began fixing the border fence.

10. Three-thousand acres of dirt and his wife buys potting soil at the farm store.

10. Armadillo blight: possums on the half-shell rooting up your pasture.

10. County 4-H agent has breakdown; joins carnival; never heard from again.

10. There’s not a bull in the county that’s better at trespasser control.

10. Deluxe easy chair with built-in mini-fridge and remote control zip-tied to the arm.

10. Second floor window replacement due to the inattentive backing of a grain auger.

10. Cow Pie Bingo on the White House lawn.

10. You find that newborn calf and then its mother finds you — new 100-yard dash record for rough terrain in cowboy boots.

10. Your high-tech baler’s alarm is going off but it’s unclear if you’re out of twine, due for service or in the path of a tornado.

10. Always refer to a field that’s not located along a road.

10. The windshield wipers on your hay baler tractor aren’t working.

10. He has to buy his own caps because nobody will give him one.

10. Bermuda is a grass, not a destination.

10. The way he’s driving you’d swear he’s been drinking but he’s just checking the crops.

10. A close encounter with wheat pasture cattle.

10. Hoop earrings, horned bull in the chute, bad combination.

10. Cowboy sign language from the far end of the sorting pen doesn’t cut it.

10. You can tell by the nice clean puddle underneath the tractor that oil has been changed regularly.

10. The horse-eating bush in the pasture that he’s walked by 10 gazillion times.

10. A skeleton cow of undetermined heritage gimps into the sale ring and the ring man immediately looks at you.

10. Leave your fiscally responsible wife at home.

10. The first of 10,000 potentially yield-crushing diseases are hitchhiking up from Texas.

10. He buys one of those heart-shaped candy boxes on February 15 when the price drops.

10. You toss a dead possum as far out of the front yard as you can and your retriever sees you do it.

10. He thinks “black layer” is some kind of chicken.

10. Sick calf fecal samples more-or-less safely zip-locked in the refrigerator.

10. The old hay barn works fine — for feeding loose hay to draft horses.

Two-time national wheat yield contest winner C.R. Freeman, owner of Premium Beef and Grain of Hobart, swings for the fences without compromising on grain quality.

10. January keep-the-lots-muddy rain.

10. When buying clothes for your wife, steal tags from her closet — don’t try to describe her size with hand gestures.

10. How can you retire when your 88-year old father is still plugging away?

10. He couldn’t buck on three legs so I wasn’t in any hurry to fix him.